Jaclyn Costello

…is one territorial bitch

Last night in Yoga class, a particularly giggly flirt trolled out a space next to my man. She rolled her mat down and leaned over to tell him how much she’d missed him last class. One thing lead to another, and she was suddenly asking my bf to stop by her bar downtown on Friday (she is a cock-tail waitress there.) She said she was hoping he would stop by last weekend, and she was sooo sad when he didn’t show. My

boyfriend is a lamb, let it be known. He’s not one to be ‘out on the prowl’. However, he does tend to attract women who shower him with stories of their lives and dreams, even if they are well aware that he already lives with a woman (me!) I don’t mind it except for the fact that he loves his double standards, and if I were ever to allow such flirtations to occur on my end I would be reamed. I’m sure there are people out there who would claim we have a rather ‘un-evolved’ relationship–that we shouldn’t let petty human emotions or animal instincts come between us and an enlightened union…

Which brings me to this: the moment just before Yoga class began.

I was several mats away from my boyfriend–due to space limitations–until I heard the high-pitched giggles and flip-flopping ponytail of Little Miss Muffet #74. I usually have a higher tolerance for these things, but last night I just didn’t give a f*ck about being an evolved human being, and I didn’t think twice to view my actions as regressive. I simply picked up my mat and walked to the end of the room where my boyfriend’s mat was positioned eight inches away from Muffet’s, and I slapped my mat down between the two of them without saying a word. This basically meant my mat was directly on top of theirs, as my mat is quite a bit larger than eight inches wide. My boyfriend–God bless his simple soul–didn’t think twice about it, but el-giggles clamped her mouth shut and moved swiftly away like I’d ordered her death sentence with a side of the plague.  It was a beautiful thing.

I still see nothing wrong with this act, and I still feel good about it. In fact, I think sometimes being ‘evolved’ is not about keeping a zen-like distance from all forms of human emotion—it’s knowing when to put the f*cking mat down.

Peace